


they say we're crazy, but it's who we are

by LilacsAndLilies



Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Asexual Matt Murdock, Asexual Peter Parker, Gen, It's My First Time Writing Matt, Matt Murdock acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, devil dad, pride month
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:28:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24666139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilacsAndLilies/pseuds/LilacsAndLilies
Summary: Peter's got questions about his sexuality and apparently the only one who can help him is the Devil of Hell's Kitchen
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Peter Parker, Matt Murdock/Franklin "Foggy" Nelson (mentioned)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 282





	they say we're crazy, but it's who we are

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Pride Month! 
> 
> Title: Who We Are by Imagine Dragons

Peter sat on top of the building in Hell's Kitchen, staring out at the skyline. Daredevil sat beside him, finishing the last of the burgers the two of them got after catching a kidnapper in the act. 

If you had told Peter a few months ago that he would be doing this, he would have laughed. Daredevil was someone unapproachable, mysterious. Definitely not someone who would be sitting with him, watching the sun set. 

But then, a few months ago, Peter had run into the other vigilante. Daredevil had seemed gruff and standoffish at first, but one thing led to another and soon the man had started training Peter, helping him with his senses and with being a vigilante. A particularly brutal escapade had them both revealing their identities to the other and they had only gotten closer. Peter was even starting to believe that Matt liked him, in some weird sort of resigned tolerance type of way. It was nice to have a mentor of sorts that was more like him and understood the little things about being a vigilante. 

All in all, it was nice, spending time with Matt. They were both still technically on duty patrolling, but it was a quiet night and Peter enjoyed the time to rest.

Or at least he would have on any other day. Today however, his brain decided it was a good day to torture him. His mind kept trailing back to the events at school earlier that day. 

It was pride month, and being a student at a ‘nerd’ school in NYC meant almost no fear of homophobia and excessive flags. Peter knew, as someone who knew they like guys and girls both, he should be excited about the month, wear the bisexual label with pride. But the jokes and conversations about sex always left him with a sour taste in his mouth. He couldn’t walk past the main hallways without running into some kid making a joke about sex, and it only got worse when ppl were flashing pins and badges everywhere. The whispers were quiet, people liked to keep up the pretenses that as nerds, none of them got involved in things like that, but Peter’s super hearing made every raunchy story told in the corners of bathrooms loud and clear. That, combined with the mandatory FLE classes, sent Peter spiralling. 

Peter had always known about stuff like that, he was a child of the internet after all. It wasn’t that he couldn’t deal with it either. It was just that the concept irritated him, the details made his hairs stand on end. He could wade his way through conversation but it was always a matter of avoiding the gross topics, skipping the explicit lines. Everyone else seemed to be into that type of thing, reading stories or talking, but all Peter wanted to do was avoid it and move on to the more interesting things.

This wasn’t to say he was against romance. He still wanted to kiss, wanted to date, wanted to dance with someone in his arms under the moonlight (yes he was aware how cheesy that was). He just didn’t want to have sex. Something apparently everyone else did, or at least liked talking about. Peter knew he was probably exaggerating, but at some point, all of the side jokes and dirty comments added up, making Peter feel like he missed the memo that made them funny. 

Peter hesitated to ask May or a teacher or something why he felt like he missed the note, because wasn’t avoiding sex a good thing? It was the only thing they yelled at the students. But it didn’t stop him from feeling left out or awkward amongst the seas of students. Weren’t high schoolers supposed to be known for making immature jokes about these types of things? Why wasn’t he the same?

“Hey, Spidey. Are you going to eat that or are you waiting for the birds to eat it instead?” 

Peter snapped out of his thoughts. “What??”

Matt gestured towards Peter’s lap, where the burger was resting. “Your burger. You haven’t taken a bit in a long time and the pigeons nearby are probably waiting to take it from you. What’s wrong? I can hear your mind running a mile a minute.”

Peter glared at the man dressed in red, fully aware that he couldn’t see it. “Can you actually hear me thinking?”

“What- no. It’s a phrase. I just meant you’ve been distracted all afternoon.” Matt got up and held a hand out to Peter, pulling the teen up as well. “It’s a quiet night and we’ve already done enough. Come back to my apartment. I’ll get you some tea. I know your aunt isn’t home yet.”

Peter thanked the man for the distraction and silent acknowledgement. He didn’t want to be alone. They traveled over the rooftops, soon making their way back to Matt’s apartment. Matt excused himself to change and make some tea, leaving Peter alone in the living room. The teen pulled off his mask, settling into the familiar room. His eyes glanced around the sparsely decorated surroundings, his eyes quickly fixing on the purple and black flag taped messily to the wall.

Matt walked back into the living room in sweatpants and a ratty tshirt and began making his way around the kitchen. “Peter? You haven’t moved since I came in.”

Peter swiveled his head around. “Oh, nothing, I was just looking at your flag.”

“You mean the ace flag? Foggy got it for me.” Matt seemed hesitant, so Peter was quick to comfort Matt.

“That’s cool.” He had heard the word ace a couple times, usually added into conversation as an after-thought while listing sexualities. He always got the vibe that it was something wrong, someone who couldn't love. Sometimes he felt like it might be him, but he never really found anyone that felt the same and he knew he still wanted to love someone. The idea of fitting into a label only to feel more alone never applied to him.

Peter paused. Matt just said he was ace. Wasn't he dating Foggy? Peter had met the man a few times. He seemed really nice and cared about Matt a lot. Reminded him of Ned in some ways."I thought you were with Foggy?"

“Yeah I am. I can do both.” The timer went off and Matt pulled the cups out of the microwave. He settled onto the couch next to Peter and handed the teen the cup. 

Peter held the cup in his hands, taking in the warmth. “I though…” He trailed off, not sure how to phrase the question. 

“You thought asexual meant no romance?” Matt’s lips twitched as his mouth settled in a half grin.

Peter nodded, a sheepish expression on his face.

“And who told you that?”

“Someone from school.” Peter honestly couldn’t remember. It was just one of those things you knew, knowledge that spread around in the busy hallways.

“Well they’re wrong.” Matt turned to face Peter. “Being asexuals means you feel little to no sexual attraction. I don’t really care much for sex, doesn’t mean I haven’t had sex before. It does not mean no romantic attraction. That’s aromantic. Not that being aro is wrong. I know pretty great people who are aro. It doesn’t define you in any way.”

Peter played with the idea in his head. “But what if you don’t like sex. Like the idea of it makes you want to hide away?” he didn’t know why he was saying this to Matt of all people, but the words seemed to come easier. The older man knew what it was like to feel alone and lost and Peter knew Matt would never judge as long as it didn’t stop him from doing his job. 

Matt tilted his head to the side and Peter knew Matt got the personal connection. “That’s still ace. It’s a scale, a spectrum. Not liking sex fits somewhere there too.”

“So...” Peter looked for the right words. “It’s not a weird or freaky thing? Not liking sex?”

“I am a freak for many reasons but my sexuality is not one of them Peter.” Peter tried to process that. Not liking sex but wanting romance was being ace. It was a label that fit him and didn’t just make him feel alone. After all, if Matt was ace, then it wasn’t a bad thing. Matt was one of the strongest people he knew and being like him could never be a bad thing. No matter how much he carried on the lone ranger act, Matt was rarely alone. It didn’t seem like a bad life to life. 

“You’re not a freak. Thanks for the explanation though.” He lifted up the now empty cup. “And the tea.”

“You’re welcome.” Matt tried to grab Peter’s cup, but the teen grabbed it before and swiftly placed them in the sink. 

Matt got up and walked over to a cabinet in his kitchen. The cabinet slid open and he shifted through it, before grabbing a small pin. He came over to Peter and placed it in his hand.

Peter looked over the pin, turning it around in his palm. It was a smaller copy of the large flag taped to the wall. “I can tell when the questions are personal. Keep it and wear it with pride. Your sexuality does not make you a freak.”

Peter could feel his eyes tearing up. He bolted towards Matt and pulled him into a hug. The man froze, before slightly relaxing, still feeling uncomfortable in the hold. “Thanks a lot Matt.” 

“Always a pleasure.” He grinned before slowly easing himself away. “Now go before your aunt gets worried.”

“Of course Mr. Daredevil sir.” Matt scowled as Peter pulled on his mask and jumped out onto the balcony, getting reading to swing home. The worries of the day seemed a little smaller as he felt himself finally fit into the place he was looking for. 

**Author's Note:**

> Talk to me on tumblr @lilacsandlilies4  
> or on discord @LilacsAndLilies#4691


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